Dear Animal Rescue Peoples:

I came to this house after I was put on one of your websites. I think I need to get put on one again because the people I have now have lost their minds.

I was minding my own business when my mom called me to the upstairs bathroom. She had clippers. She proceeded to clip some small mats from my ear and then clip my feets. I tried to walk away but she said “NO” so I laid there and gave her disapproving looks. I was saved by RileyCat who is nosy and shoved his way between us. Mom got distracted by trying to shave him some but cats aren’t as tolerant as dogs.

I thought we were done then. We went downstairs and she got the leash. The leash means one of three things – a walk, a car ride, or the dog park. I figured I was getting a reward for being so good. But she called me to the side yard and …. It hurts to even say it but …she tied me to a post! Tied me up! Like a yard dog instead of the pampered housedog I am. If that wasn’t enough she proceeded to get the hose and wash me.

I tell you I sat right down and gave her dagger eyes. I want the words Good Dog put in my profile in all big letters because I didn’t bite her even though she was clearly asking for it.

She went blathering on about how it should feel good since it was so hot. I was sleeping on the couch in the air conditioning! I wasn’t hot!

Then I had to stay outside until I dried. She thinks since she was outside with me that this is acceptable. I showed her. I found something to roll in the yard. I did it over and over right in front of her until she let me back in the house.

Please put “Must be allowed to sleep undisturbed on the couch” and “Central Air” in my requirements.

Thank you,
Freckles the GOOD DOG