Dear Prize,

I appreciate that you aren’t the type to just jump into a relationship. But, I think you’ve had enough time to get to know your boyfriend. I appreciate that you don’t quite like him that way yet but your little love nest charges by the day. Please cut your stay short.
That shot you got yesterday should make you start feeling happy thoughts towards him in the next 48 hours. Please, please, please. If it doesn’t then we may be dealing with a medical problem. You know how much you hate it when I examine you? Imagine a team of specialists giving you a full medical workup. It would be so much easier to just give in to your hormones.

Love,
Mom