I figured out this morning why most normal people want to learn to parent on babies. They don’t offer commentary on your parenting skills or lack thereof.

I was giving Z a bath this morning. It was the first time I’d done it by myself. I was washing her hair when I missed her head with the cup I was using and dumped a full cup of water in her face. I apologized and gave her a towel to wipe her eyes. Then she said, “You’re not very good at this, are you?” It was a matter of fact observation, not an accusation. She continued, “My daddy’s better at it.”

I replied, “That’s why I need the practice.”
Z: “He’s letting you practice on me then.”
Me: “Yep.”
She seemed to accept that as reasonable then continued, “My mommy’s better at it too.”
Me: “She’s had lots of practice too – ever since you were a baby.”
Z: “Did you know me when I was baby?”
Me: “No.”
Z: “Yeah, you need the practice.”

I then rewarded her patient acceptance of me by hitting the faucet by accident and thereby pouring a cup of cold water over her head. Poor kid. She just laughed and realized that she is going to have her work cut out for her.
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I don’t like to take Vitamin C tablets. I’m not sure why but my hate for them comes from childhood. My mother was a believer. She is still horrified that I don’t take Vitamin C. So I go off and hook up with a guy who is also a believer. He is making it a goal of his to make me eat Vitamin C. He’s fooled me by feeding me candies and then slipping in the vitamins. He’s shoved them between my clenched jaws in rather the same manner as I deworm Spirit. But today he hit a new low. He called Z into the kitchen. I hear, “Can you do me a favor? Go give these to her. They are the medicine she needs to take.” There was the hint of a giggle in his voice. She brought them to me. I considered disabusing him of the notion that I’m not the kind of person who would make a four year old cry but realized that I’m really not the kind of person who would make a four year old cry. I took the pills.

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My ex was fond of carpet care. I never vacuumed during my marriage. He also bought himself a carpet cleaner for a present since he was tired of renting them. Today I figured out how to use the carpet cleaner. I am personally amazed that I did this since I have never before been motivated to do it. Now I’m feeling like a domestic goddess. That’s enough cleaning for now. I’m off to read a book.