I had some freaky dreams yesterday morning. One involved the making of a documentary about Roslyn Carter’s first husband who happened to be Sonny Bono’s dad. What sequence of neurons needed to misfiring to bring up ex-First Families and Sonny Bono and get them all mixed up? In the same dream Heidi Klum declared that both she and her husband were gay. Again, I worry about my brain. The SO gently inquired about whether or not I’d ever considered therapy.

I’m still all happy about the new and improved muscles that I’m discovering on myself. I also found out that if you yell to a man, “Hey, come here and feel my thighs!” you get instant compliance. That might be followed by pouting when he realizes that you only want him to admire your quadricep tone.

I had a mini-meltdown the other day. The SO has been losing weight too. That’s a happy thing. But it isn’t so happy when he’s doing the man thing of doing it quickly and fairly effortlessly. He’s been weighing himself at work and getting very low weights. Other scales have not agreed with the work scale. The other day the work scale weighed him at LESS THAN ME. I was not happy. You all know my theory that I have a black hole inside of me that makes me weigh way more than you’d guess but really this is ridiculous. We are the same height. But he is all muscly. Not just mildly toned but bulging muscles that come from serious lifting for the last 25 years. There is no way he weighs less than me. He checked on another scale and it weighed him 30 lbs heavier. That’s better. Now I have a head start again so I better get moving on the weight loss before I have to have a meltdown for real if he does pass me!