The SO thought my lovely fingernails would make people think we were white trash? Good thing he didn’t witness this conversation in the middle of a crowded pool today.

Z: “That’s a pretty ring you have on.”
Me: “Thanks.”
Z: “What is it?”
Me: glancing sideways at the child since I’ve had it for a year and we’ve talked about this before – “My engagement ring.”
Z: “You’re engaged????? To who?????”
Me: “Seriously? Who do you think I might be inclined to marry someday?”
Z: thinks long and hard about this question then answers with a tentative, “Daddy?”
Me: “Yes, that’s right.”
Z: shrieks of joy followed by, “I’m going to have a sister!!!!!”
Me: “Um, Z? If I marry your dad we won’t be sisters. I’ll still be an evil stepmother.”
Z: Shouting at the top of her lungs “MY PARENTS ARE GETTING MARRIED!!! MY PARENTS ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!”

Dear god……

Later……

Z: “Heather, can I be the bride in your wedding?”
Me: “No. I’m going to be the bride.”
Z: “Flowergirl, then?”
Me: “No. We aren’t going to have that kind of party”

If we had planned anything other than eloping someday that whole conversation would have changed my mind.