My mother came down here to go shopping for a dress for my brother’s wedding yesterday. This was her second city to go shopping in. She was finding it difficult to find a dress. Here were her requirements:

1. Not beige
2. Not black
3. Should be a rich, deep color
4. Not strapless
5. Needs to cover the top of her
6. Can’t have a solid jacket
7. Can’t look like a grandma dress

Other than that she had no earthly idea what she wanted. Gee, why was she having problems?

I thought we had hit the jackpot with a nice black skirt and a white top made of lace with lots of subtle sequins on it. There was a black ribbon that tied around the waist. I loved it. True there was black but it fit the whole covered without being solid requirement. But it had a camisole. In my mother’s world camisole=casual. I told her that no one would mistake that outfit for something to go jogging in but she had to think about it. We eventually came back and tried to again. I loved the skirt. She found another top that was the same idea but maroon lace with black overlays. Again there was a camisole. I berated her until she admitted that it was not a casual look. Then she realized that the skirt had a small (tiny, little, itsy bitsy) train. She considered that wholy inappropriate. I told her that was what I liked about it. She finally bought the outfit.

I was exhausted. Whole day wore me right out. All that shopping and there was body piercing! My mother got her ears pierced for the first time. I’m not sure what got into her. Of course she had to argue with the ear lady about not being able to change the earrings for six weeks…