If I told you about the last 10 days, you may not even believe me. I’m not sure I believe me and I was there.

It started last weekend. I took the husband to a trail ride that I was judging. I’ve been doing this longer than I’ve had him but he’s never been to one. I usually fly to events but because of weirdness of geography and flight patterns it ended up being faster to drive to this one so I took him along. I was worried because he has severe food allergies and we were going to be in the woods. I had him take his epipen but he was fine and had a good time.

Sunday night we were halfway home when we stopped at Panera and had cross contaminated food. He started to react as soon as we left the restaurant. He took the epipen and seemed better. I was driving down the interstate when he started to get bad again.

“My lips feel funny.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you want me to call an ambulance?”
“I’ll be dead before they get here.” Read that last line in the style of Scarlet O’Hara to get the full effect.

I decided to call anyway so I was on the line with them being directed towards a hospital at high speed while looking for the lights of the police and ambulance that were heading towards me. Eventually they found us and got him into the ambulance. He was minimally responsive and had a very low blood pressure. The police led me to the hospital. We were there until 2 AM getting him stabilized. I was making calls to try to get the next day off work which is tricky when we have 2 offices and 4 vets and one them is very pregnant and lives 2 hrs away, one is in France, one just picked up her parents who came to see her for the first time in 6 years from Korea and who have never met her children, and one is me stuck in an ER in rural Ohio.

He was released at 2 AM and then I had to drive 3 hours home. We got home at 5:30 AM which was 24 hours and 30 minutes after I got up on Sunday morning. I collapsed in the guest bedroom because I knew that since he had been sleeping all night he would get up in a few hours and want to chit chat and it would be a waste of the previous night to kill him.

Tuesday – I’m heading to work and get pulled over going 24 in a 20 mph school zone at 10:30 in the morning. If the stupid kids aren’t in class at 10:30 they deserve to be hit. I’m especially amused after my high speed pursuit of police on Sunday night. All this is the day that the husband starts getting sick again.

Wednesday – My plan for the day is to go to work and then go to a quilt guild meeting to pick up some quilts they are donating for an event this weekend. The husband is sick. He dehydrates easily and often needs IV fluids when he is sick. At 7:00 AM I decide to show the compassion that makes me Wife of the Freakin’ Year. “Look, if you think you are going to need fluids you need to go to the hospital right now because I don’t have time for this any later.”

I get him in the car with some cash. I drop him off at the ER door and tell him to have a nice day. The cash is so he can catch a cab home later. These things take hours. I did go back and check on him before I went to work. I’m not totally heartless.

So, he’s alive and well right now. Tomorrow I’ll pick up talking all about the festival I went to this weekend for Quilts of Valor which was a bit insane.