Yesterday I got into a situation bordering on the strange. We had to take Z to her grandparents’ house. That would be the SO’s ex-wife’s parents. The potential for awkward is there right from the start.
Relations have thawed since they were in charge of taking care of Z a lot this spring. They witnessed her behavior and saw that we had the best luck handling her.
They live in a community with a small private beach on Lake Erie. The SO decided that if we were going up there then he wanted beach time. They agreed. Off we went to spend the afternoon with the ex in-laws.
The first thing Z’s grandmother asked when she got me alone was, “How horrible has she been this weekend?” I was honest about lots of hissy fits at the beginning but then she got better. But Z turns into monster child when she gets there.
We were all hanging out in the lake. Z and her grandma were together. I was floating. The SO announced that he was going to see if he could swim to the far buoy (or die trying, I guess.) He was as far away as possible when I saw Z starting to blow. Now, here’s my dilemma. Do I intervene and take her from her grandmother? Luckily, she got distracted before I had to make a decision. When the SO got back I mentioned that we should float over and supervise a bit.
Long story short Z has serious behavior problems for her grandmother to the point that her grandmother is a bit scared to deal with her. When the SO was putting out another behavior flare up, her grandmother came up to me privately. “I’m surprised you’ve put up with this as long as you have. I would have run.” What do you say to that? The child’s grandmother is recommending getting as far away from her grandchild (who she obviously does love) as possible for my own good.
Potential answers:
A) Well, your ex-son in law is pretty awesome even if your daughter doesn’t think so and I’m staying for him.
B) Beats me. She doesn’t act like this for us.
Both would be awkward. I just laughed and said, “Two weekends a month isn’t so bad.” Her response was, “I don’t know how you do it.”
Yep, awkward. I hope they are doing ok. I think she’s there most of this week.
Very awkward. Oh well, it’s obviously a compliment. She likes you enough to care about your sanity and well-being!
My MIL did the same thing, only in regards to the family business. When we got engaged she said, “I couldn’t be more thrilled to welcome you to the family, but do you understand what you’re getting into?” She was referring to 7 day work weeks, 15 hour days, and some sketchy co-workers.
I felt a mixture of indignation (did she think I couldn’t handle it?) and appreciation that she cared about me and our future children enough to warn me.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Harvest =-.