I’ve been resisting Twitter. It is one more thing to do and follow and be obsessive about. But I can see the appeal. I have lots of things that are mildly interesting but that I can’t flesh out to a full fledged post. So I decided to think about what I would say if I had Twitter today. (I’m not counting letters so I might get wordy. Another reason that I have a blog instead.)

1. Dear cute puppy, it isn’t that I don’t like puppy kisses but 36 hours ago I picked enough decon out of your teeth to kill a shipload of rats and I made you purge repeatedly. I don’t want to share germs with you yet.

2. I was listening to the Newsweek on air podcast on the way to work and they used the phrase, “if you’ve been living in a cave without cable or satellite….”. I feel like signing everything, “Love, a cave dweller”.

3. Last night before I went to bed I noticed Powder laying on a table by the tree. It made such a nice picture. Christmas tree lighting up the very content cat. I started taking shots. It would have been the very epitome of coziness if the pictures hadn’t shown a highly annoyed cat saying, “What the ?/!@ is your problem?”

4. I saw a great card today. It showed a reindeer in his den with 8 mounted reindeer heads. It said, “All the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names.” That amuses me to no end. I’m sure that makes me a bad person.

5. My sewing friend twapped Riley between the eyes with a ruler yesterday when he repeatedly jumped onto the quilt she was working on. When I protested the horrific animal abuse she hit me six times. When our other friend laughed she got beat too.

6. Snowball escaped from grooming by following someone out the door. It took several people to apprehend her. I had gone to lunch and she was going to find me.

7. I had already given the groomers gift certificates for a manicure place in exchange for the free groomings I get for the problem child. I told them it was from Snowball to see how they liked some stranger messing with their nails!

8. There was a robbery at grooming today. We know who did it but she’s crazy with a crazy mother. I say call the cops but they haven’t.

9. The SO had lovely reading areas in each room. But they were set up for one person. Gradually I’ve been adding lights. I wanted to get a floor lamp for one room. I couldn’t find one that the picky guy would like. He likes classy stuff. I adored the one with fake palm fronds or the hot pink one. We finally decided to put the one from my sewing room in the family room and I’ll buy new for me. Hummm, multicolored shades or palm fronds?

10. I had a dream this morning that all kinds of offbeat people were getting Cabinet posts in the Obama administration. People like Sean Gunn previously of Gilmore Girls and the guy with the funny hair that was on some VH1 specials. There wasn’t going to be any confirmation hearings since Ted Kennedy was just going to swear them all in at once. I was worried about who was going to be on VH1 now.

So obviously I get too wordy for Twitter. Good to know.