The ex was here this morning. We are trying to get some stuff around here fixed and I wanted him to take more of his stuff. I really need to keep following the wisdom of the dog. I heard him drive up and I think she knew it too. She came running out of the bedroom to the spot where she waits for people to come in the door, pooped on the floor, and ran back to the bedroom. Later he was laying on the floor because his back hurt and she walked over to him. Normally she throws herself at you and demands to be petted if you are on the floor. She looked at him for a bit and he said hi to her and then she walked away. Never touched him.
We got some stuff fixed that had broken this summer. He refused to fix the lawnmower before when he was in the process of ’emotionally distancing’ himself from life here while still living here. Whatever. He also had piles of clothes laying around. Because of his weight loss he had clothes in every size from 44 to 30. When he left he took a bare minimum and probably went out and bought more knowing him. I knew most of the clothes had to go to Goodwill but I didn’t want to go through them. It was going to be a big job and it just didn’t seem fair for him to dump the mess on me. So I made him go through it all today. There was much whining but I just laid on the bed and watched. Most of it is gone. Some stuff was saved for my brother and the ex’s nephews and that needs to be boxed separately. It is still here. I also went around the house and packed up some small stuff that was his for him to take. He still needs to get a lot of the computer equipment and stuff like that.
He did manage to irritate me so that was good. I would say something to him and then he would immediately ask me a question. The answer to the question was always the thing I just told him but obviously he wasn’t listening. I also bought myself a new watch and he was trying to joke around and ask if it was from my boyfriend. I told him not to be an ass. He noticed immediately that I took down the wedding pictures in the living room. Asked if I was removing all traces of him. I guess it’s something like that. But all in all it was like talking to a stranger. A stranger I’m not even attracted to. Weird.
While I don’t know what it’s like for a marriage to end, I do know the pain of the end of a live-in relationship.
In my case, I was the one who had to leave (he had the lease, not me. That was fine because I couldn’t afford the rent anyways). Having to pack up my stuff was really hard to do, but knowing I couldn’t be with a man who didn’t treat me the way I wanted to be treated was what kept me packing. Like yourself, I found myself seeing him in a completely different light and not liking what I saw.
(((((HUGS))))) Glad to hear you’re staying strong, Heather. Too funny, the way your dog’s acting. Like she, too, knows what a jerk he’s being. Glad to hear, though, that the ex is getting his crap out of your way so you can get on with the rest of your life without his clutter.